Sex apprenticeship is a affair of abundant importance. We all accede on that, (or a lot of humans anyway), and yet it’s something that scares us.
So we leave it to somebody else, and like the old children’s story, if everybody leaves it for somebody abroad to do, it never gets done. Or in this case, Some of it gets done, but what is Done is Negative, and It’s not working.
What’s abrogating about our sex apprenticeship is that it’s abhorrence based. We advise our children, and not alone our children, about not accepting pregnant, about not application HIV/Aids.
The abashment and anathema of sex is still there.
The embarrassment of talking about sex is still there.
And we apperceive it’s not working.
Teenage abundance is on the rise.
HIV abstracts are not abbreviating and animal corruption is increasing.
More accouchement of 12 years old are accepting sex.
We are declining our accouchement and ourselves in an breadth of activity that we could accomplish a real, apparent difference.
Why does it alarm us to go there?
Because we accept to accost ourselves, accede that maybe we don’t apperceive that abundant about sex ourselves, about our genitals. And it embarrasses us.
So sex apprenticeship is not just about our kids, it’s educating a association to a new way of getting and relating, to new, advantageous attitudes about ourselves, added people, our world.
I’m generally asked, ‘How do I allocution to my kids about sex?’
It’s a simple catechism with a circuitous acknowledgment that challenges us.
Firstly, we accept to allocution to them aboveboard and honestly, which agency no embarrassment, no euphemisms. We can alone do this if we’re adequate with our own sexuality.
Secondly, it agency we accept to accede our kids as animal beings, even if they’re allurement absolutely out of curiosity, not an ambition to act. (We can achievement that they’re not in the growing accumulation of 12 and 13 year olds accepting sex, because, of course, ‘my adolescent never would’). Already afresh it’s consistently Some physique Else.
Thirdly, the apprenticeship we action has to appear into band with what they’re seeing in the media, TV, movies etc. the aggression they’re apparent to every day. We accept to abutting the gap amid old, anachronous account and the absoluteness they face in the world.
Next we accept to accept accessible forums for altercation on a ambit of animal issues. The humans we accept to advance these are important. They charge to be open, honest and aware, not aflutter or ashore in the past. Their apprenticeship on animal capacity needs to be clear, not alloyed with belief and misunderstandings.
Then we accept to action animal alternatives.
Our accouchement are not not traveling to accept sex already they’ve absitively to explore, for whatever reason, boredom, excitement, and associate pressure, whatever.
We can’t stop them, as abundant as some humans anticipate they can.
But if we action alternatives and attending to added sources for apprenticeship we can accomplish a difference.
There are added possibilities for animal analysis than penetration. One archetype is the Expanded Orgasm technique, no penetration, no oral, no swapping actual fluids, includes account and communication.
I’ve appear to see that masturbation is still a big anathema in our society, yet it has abounding benefits. One of these is that acceptable acquainted of your own physique and amusement brings a greater faculty of buying of your self. This leads anon to acceptable added amenable of who you acquiesce to do what to you, what the boundaries are.
Then we attending to the East, to the Tantric and Taoist traditions. Sex is accustomed its applicable abode as an basic and important allotment of life, with accompanying education. Some of the a lot of important attempt these philosophies teach, besides their techniques, are respect, honouring, advice and context.
From time to time there accept been teenagers at the anterior talks on Tantra that I give. Every one of them has said that they admired all their accompany could apprehend these ideas; it would accomplish their animal attitudes and accomplishments actual different. In South Africa the attempt of account and honouring are basic in ablaze of the abundantly top accident of abduction and abuse.
These account are not about adopting a altitude of promiscuity, just the opposite. By demography buying of yourself and your sexuality, with absolute knowledge, with compassionate the accent of affections and relationships we actualize a allusive ambience to analyze in.
If we can advise our kids to account themselves more, that will extend into apropos others, our society, our environment, our world…
Sex apprenticeship is not alone about teaching our accouchement how not to get pregnant, it’s about educating ourselves to be happy, fulfilled, pleasured beings.
It’s educating a society, a future.
» Read more: Sex Positive Education